To start with, I am the sucktastic at getting blog posts up in time lately. I promise to be better and I’ve already determined what I’m going to talk about next week, and the week after that (though I still have to actually write the posts).
Moving on. The Couch to 5k program is amazing. I have never been a runner. Even in high school, when we had to run laps at the beginning of gym class, I hated it. I was more of a barely jogger. But I always sort of wished I had the gumption to go out for track. I always sort of envied the runners. So when I found out about the Couch to 5k, and when I read an article by a runner who was much much larger than me when she started running, I knew I had to do it. I’ve been doing great things on SparkPeople and I figured, I can do this.
Now, I have to stop here and say that this is a very very new outlook for me. I have always been a pessimist. Especially when it comes to my own abilities and prospects. So looking at anything and saying “I can do this” is pretty amazing. Usually, I think something negative, then I tell myself that I need to be more positive and I’ll change it to “I can do this.” But it was still a false positivity. It was my attempt to improve my outlook but it wasn’t really real. This is real.
SparkPeople starts you out small and then when you’ve done a few things right and had good results, this funny thing happens. You just sort of start to believe in yourself in a way that you never have before. The fact is, overweight people (and probably most people in general) are pretty well-versed in failure. You don’t usually end up overweight if you haven’t failed in some way. Failed to eat right. Failed to be active. Failed to take care of yourself. All of the above. So it takes a few things going your way to reverse the accumulated negative thinking.
Back to Couch to 5k. I thought I could do it. I wanted to do it. But I still made excuses for a couple weeks. I couldn’t find the cord to upload the podcasts I found onto my Zune. Which was pretty important since I don’t have a treadmill to keep track of time on, nor do I have a stopwatch on any kind. So the podcasts were pretty much the only way I was going to pull it off. But after replacing the cord (I got a HUGE deal on Amazon), I was finally ready to run.
It was terrible. Painful, exhausting, and so hard to do. The first time. At one point in time, the only way I kept going was because the man on the podcast said “You can do it,” and I chose to believe him. But I was sore even before I was done running and even stretching out for a good 5-10 minutes after my cool down didn’t help much. I was so sore the next day, I could barely walk.
But, I decided that the first time was probably the worst. So I ran again. And even though I was still sore, even though I was pushing my daughter in front of me in her stroller, even though it started to get somewhat chilly toward the end, it was so much better. And just the difference between the first time and the second time made me feel like maybe I was right. Maybe I really can do this. Maybe everyone can.
Current Weight: 187
Goal Weight: 165