I think I need to achieve something. Not really anything specific, but just something from my goals for the year. Somewhere along the line, between being sick, running a VBS, having sick kids, and then trying to get back into our groove after VBS only to be defeated by my husband being hurt and not working. . . somewhere in there, I hit a real funk. The last two months feel like they just disappeared. I know I did things in there. I still have the card from all my VBS volunteers to prove that it happened. But it feels like a million years ago.
Maybe it was just too much stress packed into too little time. I was running VBS (and yes, we do ours way early, during Spring Break) and practicing for our Easter cantata ( 2 weeks after VBS), all while trying to figure out where I was going to find time to buy groceries and pay the bills. And since my husband has been off work, we’ve had to dip into our emergency fund. And that really sucks, since we’ve only had it since we got our tax refund. Though, I suppose I should be happy that we had one right before we needed it.
But now, my husband is back at work (thank you, God!), and I’m trying to get back on a schedule with the kids and it’s just. . . bafflingly hard. The rhythm of meals and nap times and whatnot isn’t an issue. But motivating myself to get things back in order, things like laundry and dishes and picking up the living room, these things are a struggle. And the two month pause in my goals makes them feel ridiculously overwhelming, even though I was excited about everything in January. I suppose this is why I normally avoid New Years Resolutions. I even made a point to call them goals rather than resolutions and it still fell apart.
Today, though, I’ve gotten some things done and it makes me feel as though I can get the rest figured out. Perhaps it’s time to pull my goals back out and give them a look. The thing about goals that gives them an advantage over resolutions is that I can look at them and change them if I need to. So maybe if I do just that, I’ll be able to get my rump out of this funk and back into life.