We are moving. And for the first time since I was a kid and had no control over these things, it’s not just across town. We’re moving to a new town. And the whole thing is confusing and everchanging and immediate and confusing (did I say confusing?). I have lived in this town for all of my life, give or take a year or two when I was a kid. My family is here. My husband’s family is here. We have quite possibly the best library in the world. It’s so supportive of writers and provides such excellent programming for children. I love it. And I will miss it and all the wonderful people who work there that have gotten to know me and my kids (at least by face, if not by name). We have gone to the same church since before we got married. We’ve only ever gone elsewhere once or twice while traveling.
Overall, it’s scary, even if it’s also really exciting. We’re not moving ridiculously far away. Only about an hour away to the Kansas City area. Close enough that we can still come back here for a somewhat weekly tabletop game with my brother and friends. Close enough that we won’t have to miss holidays with family. Close enough that they can come visit us fairly often. But just far enough away that if the car breaks down, I’ll think twice before calling up my mom to come get me. Just far enough away to feel like another world on days when I’m lonely.
Originally, we were moving in another direction. South, to a smaller town, and we were supposed to be moving down there around this time. So I “turned in my notice” as a Sunday School teacher and prepared myself to beginning looking for a new church home. As much as our church has been home for over a decade, we barely make it on time when we live 20 minutes away. There’s no way I’d get us to church if we were driving an hour to do it. So our last Sunday came. And I decided that I could see a little bit of what was going on in Topeka before we left, to sort of get me ready for visiting new churches. So we spent a couple Sundays at other churches. But today was Thanksgiving dinner at our home church. And a special musical program. So back we went. And somewhere in the middle of the service, it dawned on me that I still had a set of keys to the church.
I was tempted to just keep them. We haven’t yet found a new church, so we’re still members there. I plan to continue sending our tithe there until we find a new home. So why not just keep the keys? But we won’t typically be going there. We won’t have responsibilities that require us to go there when others aren’t there already. So why not give them back? In the end, I gave them back, turning them in after the service was over. But it felt like such a final thing. After a couple Sundays elsewhere, I thought I was doing okay with this whole moving thing. Now, I realize I’ve still been holding onto things that make it seem unreal. And that’s no way to cope.
So I’ve turned in the keys. And now I’ll get back to work finding us a new home. And packing. And preparing us for our new life in a new city. Even if I’m a little terrified.
The beginning of things is the fact that we can’t afford the place we live. When we decided to purchase our current home, we were allowing a woman who was eight months pregnant to make our decisions (yes, I’m talking about me). And the fact is, our last place had mold from a hole in the ceiling and I was freaked out. If I’d spent an extra five minutes looking at our finances, I would have known we couldn’t afford it. And if I’d spent another five minutes beyond that praying, I’m pretty sure God would have told me to do something else. But I didn’t, and we’ve spent the last two years struggling to make our house payment and lot rent every month (yes, we have both). Because a mobile home isn’t really all that expensive (in terms of houses), our loan was only a 7 year loan (much like a new car). So if we’d been able to keep it up for another 5 years, we’d be down to just the lot rent and life would have been fine.
But then the owners of our community decided to sell the place. And the new owners sent everyone a letter indicating that they are going to be raising rent in the next 30 days. Our precarious balance (that wasn’t balancing very well due to medical debts) was gone. If the lot rent goes up, we go from barely making ends meet to not making ends meet. So we’ve decided to move. We’ll attempt to sell our house, but if it doesn’t sell quickly enough, we’ll just have to give it back to the bank. Which sucks on your credit report, but not as bad as foreclosure, which is the other option.
Finding a place that would actually be affordable for us, wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped, or as hard as I’d begun to fear once I got started. The biggest problem with moving, is motivating myself to get started packing. I may or may not have mentioned that I went to 13 different schools growing up. And each of those schools involved at least one house. Sometimes more. And then if you add in the places we lived before I hit school, and the places I lived between high school and getting married, I’ve probably lived in close to 30 places. I may not remember them all, but I remember enough moves to know that I hate moving. Really hate. So even though I know that procrastinating makes the problem bigger, it’s hard to get started. Because I hate the whole thing so much. Not to mention, we’re not 100% sure when we’ll be able to actually get into our new place. So I have no idea how much time I have. Which makes it all that much harder to plan. But I am definitely figuring out that I need to get started. I need to make a plan, even if it’s not an accurate timeline yet.
This week is Elisebeth’s birthday, along with a couple cousins and family friends. And there’s a baby shower. And then Labor Day weekend is my birthday. And all that really means is that without a plan, I’m sunk. We have too much to do for me to be putting it off.
So, in an attempt to get myself going, I’m going to hop over to flylady.net and get her moving tips. And I’ll just put it on a two-week timeline, since that’s probably the shortest amount of time we’ll have and if we end up with more time, then it’ll just be a bonus. I can do this. I will do this.