Archive for the ‘pregnancy’ Tag

Aaaaand I’m Back!   Leave a comment

So I’m back, in more ways than one. I’m back writing, and I’m also back at my free WordPress site. It was an interesting foray into paying for hosting and all that, but it was too much pressure. Pressure to keep to a set schedule to try to build a following so that I could maybe make money from the site in order to pay for the hosting I couldn’t afford. Pressure to write, even when I didn’t feel like I had anything to say, because there was a bill to pay now. I greatly prefer free, where I can write when I need to speak, and not worry about it when life gets crazy or I feel like I have nothing to contribute.

I spent a few hours yesterday moving as many posts from the last two years as I could get. I didn’t get a backup saved before my hosting expired, so I had to use the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine to retrieve the posts from old copies. There were still a few I couldn’t get. And most of them with pictures no longer have them. But somewhere on my netbook I know I have them all, so I’ll find them and put them back eventually. Maybe. I may just call it good enough that I retrieved all that writing.

It’s been a very tough couple years. I’ve learned what it truly means to trust God to provide for your family. And what it truly means to surrender your future to Him. I’ve had moments of profound thankfulness that I homeschool, and moments where I wondered if it was the right thing when our life has been so hectic. But that same craziness that made me wonder if my daughter would fare better with the regularity of public school, would have meant changing schools enough times that it would have been even more traumatic. I pray that our life will be mostly restored soon, but I know that in some things, we still have a long way to go.

A quick look at the last couple years:

September 2012 – My husband, under the leading of God, quit his job. A debt collector, attempting to collect on one of our medical debts, garnished our bank account (i.e. wiped it out), causing us to be behind on our house payment. Despite turning in over $3000 worth of past due bills to his 401(k) in an attempt to receive funds for economic hardship, they approved around $300. That didn’t even catch up the house, much less the utilities that were near being shut off. When he quit his job, we were able to cash out his 401(k) and catch everything up. We hoped this would be a short time of unemployment, since we were being obedient to God and he’d been working for 8 years there, so we figured he had established himself as reliable.

20130413_142226January 2013 – We ran out of 401(k) money. Thankfully, we were able to get our taxes done quickly and with our large refund, we floated a few more months.

May 2013 – Despite our best efforts, we lost our house. We moved out and into a house with my father-in-law. It’s actually a little bit painful to look back at posts from our old house. There were problems with it, but it was ours, you know? I cried as we drove away for the last time.

July 2013 – After a mass of crazy paperwork stuff, we got my husband’s pension money. Our tax refund had run out in May. We got the money just in time to pay rent on the new place we’d been living with my father-in-law (he’d covered our first month there).

August 2013 – We discovered that I was pregnant. In July 2012, we had felt God calling us to let him be in charge of our family size and He had promised us a son. I was beginning to think the promised son may be a long way off when I started being fatigued and occasionally nauseous. I ignored it for several weeks until my husband insisted that I was pregnant. I took a test. It was positive. Very few members of our family met the news with happiness.

October 2013 – The pension money was gone. We were going to lose yet another place to live. I prayed nonstop for God to keep us from being homeless. Nothing happened. Then, I owned up to my fear of homelessness. I gave God control and acknowledged that even if we became homeless, He could still care for us. The hymn, Have Thine Own Way, Lord, grew exponentially more meaningful.

November 2013 – In the midst of moving, after 13 months of unemployment, my husband finally got a new job. As a pizza delivery driver, making less than minimum wage part time. I was struggling with fatigue and morning sickness and my husband was working every hour he could get as we tried to pack and find a place to go with no income to pay for it.

December 2013 – A member of our church family took us in temporarily. Our landlord, feeling that we had taken too long to move (despite the fact that she never evicted us or gave us a deadline to get out), changed the locks on the home we were leaving. She refused to allow us to get the rest of our belongings. The value of the belongings was such that we will require a lawyer to take he to court in order to resolve this. We have yet to find a lawyer.

We also have yet to find a plElijah Paulace to live. We applied with public housing, but have made very little progress. On April 1, 2014, we welcomed our promised son into the world. Elijah Paul is the spitting image of his big brother. Unlike his big brother, he has a working thyroid (and that is literally the second question people asked after what he weighed and such). He is a very calm and mellow baby who took to breastfeeding right away. He has brought me such immense joy.

So, we’re still technically homeless. Or maybe it’s technically not homeless. I’m not sure. And when we get a place, we will have no dishes or pots and pans. We lost a large portion of our school supplies and all of the children’s books. But we have our family, and we’re healthy, and in the last 7 months, my husband went from delivery driver to assistant manager to store manager. It’s pretty much unheard of. When I was younger, I worked as a delivery driver for 9 months and couldn’t even get a raise when a coworker commented on how hard I worked. Most of the managers I had, had been working in the industry for several years. We know that his advancement comes from God. And we are very thankful, especially since it means that we no longer need to wait on public housing. We can being to set aside money and start looking for a new place to live. I am hopeful that if we continue being faithful, we’ll be in a home of our own again by the end of August. God has seen us through times that made me weep more intensely than I ever have in my life. But in those moments, I felt Him so strongly. There were days that I literally felt Him changing me. And it was painful and beautiful and intense. But I am better now for all of it. And despite the fact that we’d hoped to be on our own again before the baby was born, I was so thankful to be somewhere that I could get help with the older two as I recovered from childbirth. On our worst days, our church family has been there for us. They are most certainly the arms of Christ wrapping around us in our need.


New Job, Old Fatigue   2 comments

Well, I think it was possibly my shortest job search ever, and it ended with two job offers. Which was a new experience for me. I had to ask for help in order to decide between the two jobs. So I spent the last two weeks of May beginning my new job at OfficeMax. So far, I really like it there.  The people I’m working with are friendly and fun, and I’m working on the Impress side (aka the copy/print side) so I get to do something different every day. Not to mention, I’ve worked with a lot of the machines in other jobs. Just not all of them together. So it feels kind of like a job that combines a lot of my previous jobs together, which gives me a lot of confidence when I’m doing it. Even though I have to ask quite a few questions right now, I know that part is just temporary.

Another part that I’m hoping is just temporary is the fatigue I’ve been dealing with. Before this job, I was either unemployed or working at a job where I sat at a desk. So I haven’t had such a physical job in probably six years. Maybe more. When you add the general fatigue of being pregnant, it basically means that on days when I work, I’ve been going home and basically zoning out until bedtime. Most nights, I’ve been too tired to even write (which really screwed up my May Challenge at But I’m hoping that once I get used to the activity level, I will regain my ability to think after a day at work. I think the fact that I’ve been working early days has contributed too. While I was unemployed, I definitely started to get used to the hours that my husband and daughter were keeping. Getting up before 10:30am was pretty difficult those first few days.  Once I’m mostly trained though, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be working those early mornings. So I can handle it for now.

Depending on how the week goes, I may or may not be able to actually talk about writing next week. Here’s hoping my brain learns how to function after an 8 hour workday.

“Weight Loss” Wednesdays   Leave a comment

I have been thinking a lot about the state of my Weight Loss Wednesday posts. Part of me says I won’t be losing weight for a while, so I should stop them. The other part says that they’re the most popular posts on my blog, so I’d be stupid to stop them. So I’ve decided to keep them going, though they may not be quite weekly.

I won’t be doing the Couch to 5k anymore. Not unless I get permission when I see my doctor in May. And by then, I may not want to do it anyway. I’m already really tired. So we’ll see. I will still be working out and attempting to eat right. But I won’t be losing any weight for about nine months or so. And my exercising won’t be nearly as intense (though it will hopefully be frequent). My diet won’t be nearly as strict.

The fact that I wouldn’t be doing as much is why I considered quitting the posts. What am I supposed to talk about on Weight Loss Wednesdays if I’m not actually trying to lose weight? But I think the things that I learn from attempting to work out and eat right are still valid even when I’m not trying to lose weight from them. So, while I’m not going to try to push myself to post them every week, I am going to keep them going.